Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Baba black sheep, do you think we're fools?

1.
"Babaji, Ghar mein mandir hain, Shivji, Ram aur Hanuman teenon ki photo lagaai hain, phir bhi kripa nahin ho rahi.."

"Shivji ki photo akele rakho ya Parvati ke saath rakho, Kripa aani shuru ho jaayegi. Shivji ki photo akele nahin hain isi liye kripa nahin ho rahi."

2.
"Babaji, koti koti pranaam. Main 15 saal se telecom field mein hoon, phir bhi tarakki nahin hui hain."

"Kaun sa phone istemaal karte ho?"

"Babaji, nokia ka..."

"Samsung ka kyun nahin karte? Samsung ka phone istemaal karo, aur 10 rupees ke naye notes ka bundle cupboard mein rakho, tarakki ho jaayegi."

3.
"Babaji, aapne jaise bola, 10 rupees ke notes ka bundle rakha hain, phir bhi kripa nahin aa rahi."

"Kitni baar dekhte ho us bundle ko?"

"Roz ek baar babaji..."

"Roz nahin, har 15 din mein ek baar dekha karo, kripa aani shuru ho jaayegi."

4.
"Babaji, ghar mein aarthik tangi chal rahi hain..."

"Yeh bataaiye, aap sui mein dhaaga daalti hain, toh munh se todti hain?"

"Ji babaji.."

"Munh se mat todo, do-chaar din mein fark dikhna shuru ho jaayega."

5.
"Babaji, aapne bola tha do fal chadhaane ko, do fal chadhaaye phir bhi bimaari door nahin hui..."

"Kaun se do phal chadhaaye?"

"Do kele chadhaaye the..."

"Isi liye kripa nahin hui. Donon phal alag alag tarah ke hone chahiye. Kripa ho jaayegi."

6.
"Babaji, kripa nahin ho rahi.."

"Shirdi gayi thi aap?"

"Ji Babaji..abhi 15 din pehle hi.."

"Wahaan Abdul ji ki majaar pe kitne paise chadhaaye?"

"Ji 10 rupaye, babaji.."

"100 rupaye chadhaaiye, warna kripa nahin hogi."

These are real conversations taken from a religious/spiritual TV show called "Nirmal Darbar". The so-called enlightened guru who ran the show was arrested for fraud a month or so ago. People have been constantly berating him and making spoof videos of the show since then. But I think the guy is a genius and has slapped the Indian public in face very hard. OK, he's a fraud. That's not a difficult conclusion to reach. He knows it, I'm sure, as does everyone remotely involved with organizing the show. The guy has shows on AXN and 39 other channels, for god's sake. You don't get that kind of coverage without having A. serious money or B. mega audience. Whichever, he has perfected the art of conning people in a way that would make Bonnie and Clyde proud. But I am not angry at him.

You see, it is not about the guy or the fact that he conned people. There are literally millions of conmen and this guy is no different. The real deal here is the fact that we, the Great Indian Public, let him do it. It is sickening to realize that collectively, we have the IQ of a dead goldfish. I have not come across such a display of collective idiocy in a very long time.

This guy came on TV and effectively said "OK, I'm going to make a royal fool out of you. I am going to suggest remedies and solutions that not even a retarded witch doctor of Africa would dare to. And I am going to charge so much money for it I will strip you naked before you can say the word "fraud". What are you going to do about it?" He asked us this, and we answered it by letting him run that show for three years and letting him acquire over 100,000 followers on facebook and twitter. Agreed, many of these followers were paid actors but that still doesn't change the fact that this worthless scumbag asked us, the people of India, that he was going to con us and whether we would be able to do anything about it. And, we let him.