Came across this on the internet, absolutely HAD to post this here:
The densest element yet known to science has been discovered. The new element has been named "Bushcronium."Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic massof 911.These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which hare surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.The symbol for Bushcronium is "W."Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as these moronsrandomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming a large cluster of idiotopes.This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a critical mass also known as "Critical Morass."When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, anelement radiating several orders of magnitude more energy, mostly as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.